Wonderland Garland
Yesterday afternoon I found myself a bit listless. I had lots of hours ahead of me which I could fill with creative play but I wasn't sure what I wanted to do; lots of stuff to work on but everything I tried to sink myself into, fought me. I felt completely uninspired. I was unsettled, unfocused and at odds with myself. Time for a little bit of what I like to call 'zen' sewing.
The definition of 'zen'
as found on
answers.com is:A school of Mahayana Buddhism that asserts that enlightenment can be attained through meditation, self-contemplation, and intuition.
I have never been able to meditate in the traditional fashion. I am just too easily distracted. I've tried it at home, in quiet places, outside but I am far too curious. Does not matter if I try to close my eyes; focus on my breathing, take a quiet journey inward. Ha! My mind wanders to all the things I want to do, all the things I should be doing, I hear the twitter of a bird, a car rolling by and I want to go look. I am too much like a little kid in the world. I gotta see, hear, watch, listen. So for me trying to meditate is like me trying to 'not' breathe. I just can't do it.
I have found a way I can meditate, slow my breathing, drift, follow my intution and free my mind by sitting down at the sewing machine and just stitching. Of course, the whole point of mediation is to quiet the mind, so obviously sewing a complex pattern or working on a sewing project that requires my real attention won't work, however simple sewing, small repeated motions is very much like a person who sits or kneels and takes that deep breath in and out and going inward. I do the same thing while sewing, by simply grabbing up my bin of scraps, sitting down at my machine, I sew scraps of fabric together; pick up a scrap, lay it down, stitch, and repeat for as long as I wish. I've found I can do this for hours and can close out the world. Everything falls away. I am sure there are those creative souls who find the same experience while knitting, crocheting, doing embroidery and other pursuits that is attained through the calmness that can be found in the repetition of small movements.
The other ephinany I've had, is that while I sit and 'zen' sew it often leads me to ponder life, how the scraps of my own life have been sewn together, moments, events, challenges, what I wish for my life to be and to evolve into, how they are all connected by a thin and fragile tendril of 'thread' all those parts of me that allow me to continue to put one foot in front of the other and move forward, rather than backwards, all these thoughts ebb and flow and I drift to the calmness that lives in my 'center'. How many times in my life have events pulled that thread so tight; almost to the point of breaking but does not. And of course, sometimes the thread does break and then I have to sew my life back together again, hopefully with a few extra stitches just to make sure it all stays together.
So that is how I spent a few hours yesterday afternoon and what came out of that time was what I am calling 'wonderland garland'. Strips of fabric sewn to cotton twill. It just looks fun and magical when it hangs; an afternoon spent in the 'wonderland' that lives in my head. I could have created dozens of these, but eventually the kids came home from school and my 'mediation' time had come to a close. One of the simple gifts that 'sewing' allows, is that regardless if I sit down at my sewing machine to sew just because I want to, or because I need to calm myself and take a 'zen' moment is that it is all completely guilt free. I'm being creative and giving myself time to breathe and exhale to.
What do you do to bring calmness to your day?
xxooxx!