Girl and Bird Have a Heart To Heart

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Painting....

when life hurts your heart....

hurts so much...

that.....

you don't believe....

that it will ever....

be...

whole...

again.

This is what happens when I am faced with a deep hurt and pain, when life beats me up and tosses me aside leaving me for dead, like garbage left on the side of the road. 

I paint. 

I paint until I can't see straight, 

bent over the canvas on the table, 

the hours and minutes passing away. 

I decide I don't need to sleep. 

I escape to that place where the pain can't reach me, 

facing the day seems as daunting as climbing mount Everest, 

... I climb the steps from my basement studio 

determined to survive the constant onslaught of emotions 

that comes with the daylight. 

I need to stop hurting.

I need a shoulder to cry on. 

I need to paint my story.

Thank you Mindy from my heart of hearts. 

This is the story of what happens when another artist comes to the rescue; when something magical and so very right takes place and the process of healing begins...because of someone  else's deep sharing of their gifts,

 fills the hole where the hurting began.

I think everyone will understand the story I am about to share and what inspired a painting I finished just moments ago. 

What do you do when something sad happens and the first thing you experience is that you need to talk to your best friend? The person you know will understand and help you shoulder a little bit of your burden. The person you won't have to explain why 'whatever' it is has hurt you so much. They will simply just know and understand. It is with that spirit that I share this story with the world at large, here in this square space on the internet and what inspired the title of this piece as well as it's story....

'girl and bird have a heart to heart'

girl came home from a special place

a place she entrusted with her hopes and dreams,

with people she believed would never hurt her

she had no reason to think otherwise

it was an unspoken matter of trust

but the hurt happened anyway

and her heart was broken, 

shattered into shards 

with sharp edges

laid bleeding and abandoned,

exposed and unprotected.

it hurt so much

so many tears fell

a river formed

her heart; an island

alone.

she pulled her dreams 

from the garden 

where they once

bloomed and thrived

and not being able to 

hold the hurt in any longer

she looked for her friend bird, 

bird would listen

bird would hold her secret hurt

bird could carry it away.

As they walked slowly along

 this is what girl 

whispered to bird, 

trying very hard not to cry,

I've been around long enough to know that sometimes life can dish out hard lessons and that you can't always trust the people you have come to respect in your day to day life, that they can still let you down and hurt you even when that is not their intention. I know that, however my 18 year old daughter is still learning that part of her life. She still trusts and believes that the care and love that she puts out into the world will come back to her. She isn't jaded enough to understand that, that isn't the way things work. 

That her love and trust will be betrayed. 

That sometimes she needs to put walls in front of her 

to protect herself.

I remember what it was like 

when I didn't need walls in my life.

I remember how I felt

when I learned that walls are necessary 

in an adult's life,

You loose small pieces of yourself when you learn that you can no longer put all of your trust and love in one place. That loving something too much comes at a very high price. 

It's a hard and painful lesson to learn. 

She learned that lesson last week. 

And I being her Mom, 

had to witness her pain and hurt and her

confusion of not understanding why it was happening to her and  watching little pieces of her heart

being chipped away, 

falling to the ground

and being trampled. 

And in my pain for her I painted until I hurt just a little bit less, until I took steps today, so that I can understand what happened too. She is after all still my little girl and I will never be okay with seeing her hurt, 

even more so, 

knowing she didn't do anything to deserve 

the events that took place.

I painted my story and I painted hers too.

Matters of Public Safety

Daily Scrap

Art Journal

Inspired by a common news headline.

I was only half listening to the news yesterday; I was visiting a few favorite Pinterest sites and art blogs when I heard a reporter say "poses no threat to public safety and since I didn't really hear the story, my mind filled in the blank with the word 'art'.

"Art poses no threat to public safety' 

I said it out loud to myself and I kind of liked the sound of it and decided right then and there it would make a great journal page and I had a background pretty much ready to go and so today I finished that page.

In retrospect I think we can all agree that there is plenty of things going on in the world that can be considered a 'threat to public safety' but art just isn't one of them. I might worry about world affairs from time to time but art; creating it and looking at others amazing works gives me hope that artists and creative types get it right every time; it all adds up to something very beautiful in the end; a legacy of what is good and worth celebrating. Keep creating. We are building a better world and we pose no threat to public safety. 

xxxoooxxx

Full Color Life

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Art Journal

More color play. 

It's been crazy hot here in the Midwest so staying inside with the AC running has been the best place to be. Painting, experimenting, doing a little of this and a little of that. 

Hoping you are all having a wonderful summer, staying cool and safe too. 

xxooxx

The Color Run

Photo credit

Olivia Mitchell

Daily Scrap

The Color Run

St. Paul Minnesota

Does this not look like fun? Who knew there was a race that would make any artist; even those of us who do not run, want to participate. I want to and I am so not a runner though back in grade school I was on a track team, that is about 40 years ago. I am so going to do this next year even if it means I have to walk the route. 

So here is the deal. You put on a white t-shirt and basically at certain points on the route you run through a cloud of non toxic color powder and eventually you are covered in color; a running rainbow. You can see more photos here and learn more about it here. 

Colorburst

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Art journal page

It will be ok.

Lots of color inspiration this week. I went a little wild with excess paints that I have been using on the wall going down to my art studio, on my art journal pages. This page started out with one direction in mind but ended up this way. The image of the rocker came from an old calendar and reminded me that sometimes it's best to slow down and that things will work out and it will all be ok.

I've been barraged with color that excites and inspires me. Here are some paint chips that literally came to me without my needing to choose them.

 Really, I looked down and suddenly they were in my hands so you know I just had to pick up them in sample jars. And yesterday I was in my local quilt shop to purchase some fabric for a journal that is in the works and I couldn't resist these. It was love at first site. I adore color.

More inspiration has found it's way into my hands and heart through this amazing book; One Artist Journal by Orly Avineri.

There are not enough good words to describe this book.

If you love to journal, if you love to peek inside the heart of another artist then this book will make your heart go pitter patter. And even if visual journaling is not your thing, the book is well worth reading. Orly shares insights on life that anyone can embrace and grow from. I highly, highly recommend this book. It is available on Amazon but if you purchase it from Orly via her blog she gets a higher percentage of the sale.

So that is all I have for now. I am still plugging away on the stairs and wall with more tips and hints for painting big that I will share here but like all these bursts of color, I tend to follow the path that inspires me at the moment and confess to being distracted easily. Everything does get finished in it's own time and 'it will be ok' in the end.